I was out and about the other night after work.  Well, out and about in my own special way.  Fine!  I was walking home after buying groceries and yes, that is out and about.

Anyways, back to the main train of thought here.  I was walking home and I inevitably ended up waiting for a street light to change.  So I'm standing there waiting for the little white walking dude to tell me to proceed into traffic at my own risk when this roller blader pulls up beside me.  I may be the Igloo Coder, but I'm not all frigid inside so I notice the nice legs attached to the blades.  I work my way up them slowly (I really need to get sunglasses 'cause I think the other people waiting at the light were whispering about me being a pervert) and notice that this young blader has the body mass of the set of ribs I BBQ'd last week.  I'm not kidding here.  She was so small that I could have easily put my hands entirely around her waist.  When I notice this I begin to physically shake as I think of binge and purge and get the heebi-jeebies.

Luckily for me the light changed and we all ventured out into the street.  As we're crossing the street this blader pulls away from all us pedestrians only to show us her wee-tiny butt and complete lack of roller blading skill.  She tries to power up onto the side walk using the ramped area and almost fell flat on her face when the roller blade went scooting out from behind her.  So picture me, in the middle of the cross walk, at an intersection of two 6 lane streets, trying not to piss myself laughing.  Well, right when she almost took the dive I noticed something on her shoulder.  Sure enough she has some exotic bird along for the ride.  Now I do what's appropriate and stop, dead in my tracks, in the middle of the intersection and let my jaw drop.  A freaking bird!  And the roller blading pirate didn't have it leashed up.

After reconciling that it is possible, in the city, that there are anorexic, roller blading pirates, I pleasantly continued my walk home.  Sure enough I saw this all over again (same person thank freaking god) a few blocks later.  She was turning down a street that headed down to the bottom of the river valley.  I went the other way to avoid the carnage that was going to ensue at the bottom of the hill.

Sigh.  I wish people here were more like those in small towns.  You know, the ones that get drunk and drive their lawnmowers to the liquor stores.  Those people are normal.